A New Thinking.

Pondering death and what happens afterwards. We have so many religions that promise different things like peace and happiness, eternal damnation with torture, 32 virgins and so forth.

I don't want everlasting happiness with no free will. I don't want to be tortured for eternity. ok...maybe 32 virgins would be ok.

This made me think of what I would like the afterlife to be. I'd like something more like reincarnation, with a twist.

What if time was a circle? What if we die and go back and start over in a new parallel universe? What if the psyche is transferred to an alien on another planet? So many MUCH more interesting ways to continued life.

I'm sure this has been written about before by people much smarter than I am. I'm just wandering how cool it would be.

True friends...

Recently I had a friendship dissolve for no apparent reason. I tried to reason in my head why this even happened. Eventually I convinced myself that we were never truly friends. On my end we were, but on the other...we were not.

What did I do? I was too nice. What, that's modest of me...lol. But it is true. I did anything for her. I would drop plans just to hang with her. I would agree with her if even on the inside I was screaming "YOU CAN'T TRULY BELIEVE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!". And the list could go on. Maybe it was love. I did love her. At first in a "I hope she'll be my girlfriend" way and eventually in a "I want to protect her and we're only friends" way. And I thought that she felt the same way, I mean that she at least felt that we were friends.

Upon reflection I see that we were never truly friends. I was only her friend inbetween guys that she dated(granted it was the same guy about 5 times). I was her friend when she needed a place to stay. I was her friend when she asked me to get her some dinner. I was her friend when she wanted to bitch about stuff and wanted someone to listen.

Then she moved out...

After that the only texts or phone calls I got were asking for a favor. Will you order me this and I'll pay you back? Did a package arrive? Can I come over and use your shower because my parents pipes are frozen? Never a "How are ya doin Mike?". Then the texts ended. I guess the favors were done and I was no longer needed. Then I was deleted off Facebook. At no point did I do anything wrong? I just wasn't needed anymore.

I guess she started dating a guy. And that's fine...that's what people do. And I'm guessing we had reached the "I've got a new guy and Mike is no longer needed." part of our story. This time I wasn't even kept on retainer. I was tossed aside like yesterday's jam. I can't lie...I'm still mad at her for this. I will eventually get over it, but for now I can't help but be angry at this girl that I can't help but think played me for a fool.

But this also opened my eyes to the great people I have in my life. The people I should have been doing favors for. The people that call me up and ask how my day is. The people that actually care about me as much as I care for them. If you're reading this and are one of those folks...I love you. And I'm here if you need me.

Wow...alot has gone on since my last update.

I really don't want to go into most of it. But I have to say that the last couple of months has offered some of the highest highs and some of the lowest lows. I've seen crazy things and had some wonderful times. Friends getting married and making new friends has made these couple of months pretty great.

I've been cheering on a friend to do school stuff and I think that I've inspired myself to do so. To do this I've started selling off some comics and other various things on Ebay. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but I still have a little time to think about it.

I want to make this life better. And this is nothing against the people around me. Because they are all wonderful and having fun or getting help from these folks is not a problem. This is all me. I need to fix me and figure out what I want from life and what I want to do. I guess what I'm saying is that I want to fix myself while keeping the great people around me at the same great level that they're at.

Let's get this party started, ball a rolling or kite a flying...

Because I just watched the Where the Wild Thing Are Trailer

First off...Where the Wild Things Are trailer is FANTASTIC! Spike Jonze is amazing!

Second - I've had a pretty good weekend. Between work and afterwork stuff I've stayed pretty busy. But I've had fun and enjoyed the company of those around me.

Because I have an hour left at work.

Been keeping busy lately. Pretty much Get Up - Go to work - do something after work. It's much better than sitting around. Or should I say that sitting around with other people is much better than sitting around by myself.

Grilled out last week with Kelly and Walls. Had some delicious steaks and then watched a GREAT vampire movie called Let the Right One In, which was made in Sweden. Also went to a grill out at Jessica's house on Sunday. Saw the friends and tossed the football. Had a great time ( when I read this I talk like Rorschach from Watchmen and pretend this is his journal). After I left Jessica's place I took Amber and Liz to see I Love You, Man and it was very funny!

Hung out with most of the same folks on Monday. Moved a couple of love seats into Lot 1 with Patrick. Painted picnic tables with Heather and Amber. *cough cough*watched Twilight*cough cough*. Went running on Tuesday, ok I walked but I also ran a lap.

Suppose to go out on Friday to La Parilla(sp?) in McDonough. Walls seems to think he's going to get Clark and Rebekah drunk, but that's just not their thing. Hopefully they'll have fun anyways. Then Saturday is Jeff McPherson's birthday and we're gonna eat at Southern Pit and party the night away at Hollywood Hills. Ok, maybe I won't go to the HH, but I can eat...right?

Speaking of eating...I have to go on some sort of diet. I'm gonna start running, but without a proper diet there's no good reason to even try. So I'm looking up stuff online and realize that eating less costs more??!! Ugh...I'm on backward world.

Alright...time's up. It's time to get off this couch I call blog.

Because I want to look like Mickey Rourke

Seen WATCHMEN twice on IMAX! A very good adaptation of the book. The 2 hours and 41 minutes just fly by. Rorschach's prison scenes were especially awesome! And Silk Spectre II...gorgeous.

I chipped my tooth last night! I was eating an apple...an A-P-P-L-E dammit! It's not noticeable to people looking at my teeth, but I can feel it with my tongue. An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but apparently not the dentist.

OK...promise not to laugh. Promise? Alright. I started watching Gossip Girl on DVD on Tuesday. I'm now through 6 episodes and I'm definitely enjoying it. As good as the O.C.? Nah, but this teenage melodrama has me hooked nonetheless.

Played some tennis on Monday. Need to get in better shape. Played two sets until we left because of the locals. If we're standing right beside each other...do we need to scream? These kids did.

I want to make a meatloaf. A) because it's easy B) because I love meatloaf. I have a recipe for a brown sugar meatloaf. It's difficult because I get off work around 7pm and get home around 7:30pm. By the time I get it together and cook it...it will be 9pm or later. Who eats dinner that late?

The house is getting cleaner. I try to clean up a little everyday. I need to put some corkboard on the back of our upper cabinets because of how bad the back of the cabinets look. I figure corkboard would work well and be useful. I still need to clean the empty bedrooms, but those are last priority.

I have a job prospect. Interviewed last week, was supposed to interview again on Monday until it got pushed back because the interviewer would be out of town. Now I'm just waiting to see when the next interview will be. This new job would take me out of town for a few days a week, but the money will be amazing! Keep your fingers crossed.

Until next time...

Because Lucinda Williams rocked me...

Amazing show! I can't even explain how great Lucinda Williams is to the folks that have never heard her.

Here's the setlist...

1 I Just Wanted to See You So Bad
2 Can't Let Go
3 Happy Woman Blues
4 Crescent City
5 Circles & X's
6 Pineola
7 Drunken Angel
8 Side of the Road
9 Everything Has Changed
10 Something About What Happens When We Talk
11 Lake Charles
12 I Lost It
13 Joy
14 Tears of Joy
15 Real Love
16 Changed the Locks
17 Come On
18 Essence
19 Honey Bee
20 Righteously
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21 Motherless Children [with an emphasis on the Macon, GA residence of Blind Pearlie Brown]
22 Things That I Used to Do
[Lucinda comes to a full stop at this point and announces future merch discounts for fans subjected to the "gouging" fees assessed by the Live Nation-Ticketmaster "Mafia"--adding ironically "I'll never work again in this town after saying all this" and then noting that she would go back to playing on the streetcorner if this trend continues]
23 It's a Long Way to the Top. . . .
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24 Every Picture Tells a Story
25 Little Rock Star
26 Angel (Jimi Hendrix song) [solo]